bracken

Had a massive attack of paranoia and anxiety yesterday. It was so bad I couldn't leave my apartment, turn on the lights, not even to go on the relatively secure second floor balcony to smoke. Couldn't sleep from Wednesday night it gradually got worse and worse. Finally around 3:00PM I finally got up the courage to call my Mom.

Explained I couldn't take any more colazapam was dying from lack of nicotine. So she brought me nicotine lozenges and waited for the Ambien CR she gave me to kick in before going home.

I slept till 8:00PM Thursday. Was still anxious. So turned up the music on my iPod and waited two hours to take my nightly meds which included another Ambien.

Today I am better. Went to the store got some lime aid. Hung out for a few minutes with my neighbors Todd and Sophie. They are putting their cat down today which is sad.

Now I am getting caught up on Damages. Apparently I am two weeks behind still.